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The Public Ineffectual

For entertainment purposes only.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Kissing 2.0

n. Informal pl. hick·eys
1. A device or contrivance; a gadget.
2. a. A reddish mark on the skin caused by amorous kissing, biting, or sucking.
b. A pimple.
3. A pipe-bending apparatus.
4. A threaded electrical fitting used to connect a fixture to an outlet box.

Where have all the hickeys gone? You remember, the "love bite". Those were practically de rigeur back when you used to suck face for hours. My friend * is sporting one right now on the side of her neck that made us both double over in laughter! (I have never heard of the word being used for anything other than 2a.)

The hickey is emblematic of "enthusiasm unleashed, consequences be damned" fervour of youth. So, how come it doesn't happen with the same frequency these days? Improved application of an extant technology, perhaps? Heh heh heh...

Remember when you used to try and cover it over with concealer only to draw more attention to it by making it a giant orange smudge on your neck? Now a mere mention of the word seems like such a throwback to times less remembered or remembered from Happy Days and its spin-off shows.

Yep, those were the good ol' days.

* yes, really.


At 7:02 PM, Blogger abigtoe said...

I thought i'd share this one with you. I was 18, fresh off the boat from Kuwait. I hooked up with a 20 year old pre-med, experienced in acts I only experienced through my overactive imagination. To prove to my friends I scored an older woman, I asked she leave me a gift on my neck. She enthusiastically obliged. As I shut my eyes, waiting for the lover's pinch, my eyes snapped open in extreme fright. My experienced lover was gnawing on my neck, leaving me with a welt the size of a tennis ball. That was the last time I ever got a hickey. Once bitten, twice shy.

At 9:30 PM, Blogger Oblivia said...

Hi abigtoe, thanks for coming out to play!

Your anecdote really lends credence to my "enthusiasm unleashed, consequences be damned" description. Yikes. I hope you healed ok!

I once got a *huge* one (not last one) just before my debut as "Rizzo" from Grease in the school musical. Luckily, I was playing a slut.

Ha ha ha!

At 9:31 PM, Blogger cow said...

slavery mark.
cattle sign.
dog pissing on a fence.
How to say to someone, you are my Property, my Thing.
Brrrr.... awful thing.

(impression personnelle qui n'engage que moi)

At 9:57 PM, Blogger boris said...

Ah yes the hickey. The mark of the sexually incompetent adolescent.

I haven't had to yell "what the fuck do you think you are doing?!" in YEARS. Thank god.

Sadly however, that's been replaced with "No teeth! No teeth! Jesus, woman WTF!"

/end public service announcement rant

At 10:19 PM, Blogger Oblivia said...

Oh cow - its not permanent and usually not intentional! And something that properly belongs to adolescence when being wanted seemed to be almost a "gift" in itself.

I think there is a very weak relationship between sexual competance and the hickey...my friend * agrees.

At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sometimes it just depends on how easily your blood vessels are dilated / sit close to the skin. Like those people at bruise if you sneeze in their direction.

I personally bruise when poked with a feather duster.

And I say to those people, bring it on.

At 11:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

um, signed,


At 8:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, get that vacuum-mouth AWAY from my soft white neck.

What is that supposed to turn me ON?

*slobber, slobber*

akin to the drooley-kiss.


At 12:43 AM, Blogger Oblivia said...

I bruise worse than old fruit.

I never realised there was such anti-hickey sentiment out there. I knew about the "no teeth" thing though.

At 5:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nika -- i second that on both counts.

I think it's up there with proper table manners. Maybe we just have to bring these things into the public school curriculum, for the good of everyone.

makeout 101 -- better like your lab partner.


At 7:16 PM, Blogger Oblivia said...

Now THAT is what I call progressive education....heh heh...

At 5:26 PM, Blogger unixlinux said...

Nice blog. Check out my cat toy blog.

At 12:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think I ever had much of an opinion either way, but when my brother continuely started showing up for work with those "scag tags" on his neck, from his newly wed girlfriend of 2-years, It was clear to me how adolescant it was. Brandishing them with honor, i felt humilation for him. You'de have to know the guy, but there was no passion in those marks, just novelty.


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