"I Gotta Be Meeeeee!"

Oodles of Poodles
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Sometimes, when I'm all alone at night and there is no one to entertain me but the internet, I like to do stupid things like online questionnaires so I might while away the loneliness until sleep besets me or the sun comes up.

The one above asks you to answer ten questions and tells you what kind of dog you are. I took the test only to find out that I am a member of one of the most reviled breeds of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the MINIATURE POODLE.

WTF!?! Hell No! Huh???

I have long been a staunch defender of poodles. I maintain, it's not the dogs that are the problem, its the owners. Same goes for Chihuahuas and Papillons. But this doesn't mean I want to BE one. I want to be a Terrier. Like Eddie on Frasier.

So I take the test again. I change a few parameters around size, stay fairly truthful about personality traits and profession, downgrade my intelligence notch, upgrade my facility with children and hey presto....I am a.....*drum roll please*.... STANDARD POODLE

*Sigh*. I'm resigned. This is, after all, slightly better. This dog is without the Napoleon Complex of the miniature breeds. Would you like to see my profile? Ohhhhhh (grits teeth) you're gonna love this.

Dog Name
Poodle (Standard)

Origins
France. This is the oldest variety of Poodle. Closely related to the portugese water dog, the Irish Water Spaneil and the French Barbet. Used for hunting and retreiving in Europe. The familiar Poodle topiary originated as protection for its vital organs and joints against the elements when retreiving in cold waters as well as not bogging the animal down with a heavy coat. Known as the Caniche in France it was a favourite of Queen Marie Antoinette (1755-93).

Personality
Intelligent and fun loving (you'd have to be, looking like that) the Standard Poodle is a real athlete - good at hunting and swimming. Happy, good-tempered and lively, this animal is camp on four legs (and a fancy coat). The only downside is that the Poodle likes to look good and demands serious grooming every six weeks.

I have to be the bitch I was born to be.