Dum-dum-dee-dum

I had the worst dream last night. Its strange that I remember so much of it. I got married. Everyone around was soooooooo happy for me (*mwa*...*mwa*) but I had no idea what was going on, how I got there and why I was doing it. I just didn't have the strength to resist. I thought, if I had allowed this to get to this point, I should just go through with it. All the prep had been done, my body and consciousness had been dropped in the middle of it. I didn't even know who the groom was.

Selected scenes:

* I was in a room full of "our friends" (he was younger than me, of course) and someone mentioned his name, Teo (pronounced like "Theo"). I told this girl I had never met before - a "friend", presumably - that I wanted to talk to him. She said, "But he's right over there." and pointed to the corner of the room where a bunch of people were gathered. I swung my head around, "He IS???" I looked back at this group of chit chatting people. My future husband was in there somewhere, only I couldn't even pick him out.

* Trudging up a stairwell in my dress, hiking up my skirt with both arms, muttering to myself with every step, "'Till....Death...Do....Us....Part?!?"

* Being walked down the aisle by my grandmother in a church. (???)

* Parents made a brief appearance and were quite chuffed about the whole thing. It figures they didn't even catch on that I was completely confused.

* Meeting some older English guy coming out of a library who struck up a conversation out of the blue who started to talk to me about my undergrad degree (Hell man, you think I want to talk about this in my wedding dress?). I thought briefly that was quite attractive and felt a small pang that I would never be able to go there again, full well knowing that if it wasn't my wedding day, I wouldn't be thinking this.

* Walking down the aisle making mental note that I must look into the legalities of annulment.

Horrible feeling of confinement and duplicity throughout. Horrible.