For Cow

The Cow Goes "Meuh!"
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

There is a little cafe on around the corner from my place, on Rachel (Ra-shell as we say in French) called "L'entracte" (intermission). It was a tiny little hole in the wall in a quiet side street - the kind of place that could have been my next little find. A corner of the world that one day, might end up in a novel or something.

But alas, its closed. But look what is coming in its place!

This Is What Love Looks Like

Anthony as a cupake
Originally uploaded by michelle1975.

And love tastes like "chocolate with vanilla butter cream".

This delicious creation is by Michelle for Anthony for St. Valentine's Day. Just gorgeous, Michelle, well done. And it looks just like him!

Put "Jesus" in the place of "Jimmy"

V-Day
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Make love, not war.

My Kind of Television

Home Remedy

boo boo
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

Personally, I'm glad my pimples roughly tied to PMS because if I'm going to be a raging hormonal animal, I think it best to look like one too so people have fair warning.

I have reasonably well-behaved skin but I'm still prone to blemishes, especially on the forehead and chin. You know the ones - the cystic variety. The kind that throb. The kind that look as though the frontal lobe of your brain is trying to escape your skull though your face. The kind that make you think of grisly scenes from Alien or The Thing where the parasitic extraterrestrial bursts forth from the human it used as a dorm room. The kind that make you engage in bathroom surgery.

Mentioning my plight to Xi, she directed me to a site that offered me a way to ease that blemish and I in turn, offer it to you, dear reader.

For this home remedy, you need the following:
- band aids (the kind with sticky stuff all around the center bandage)
- nutmeg
- milk
- small bowl

1. Put a tiny drizzle of milk in the bottom of a small bowl.
2. Grate nutmeg really fine and mix it in batches with the milk. Watch your fingers.
3. Combine until you get something akin to a chunky brown toothpaste.
4. Take some in your fingers and dob on the affected area. Keep the area quite small so you can fit the bandaid over it.
5. Stick the bandaid on top and seal it in.

It tingles at first and the smell is fairly pleasant. I'm happy to report the inflammation has subsided significantly in the last 24 hours. The only other real solution to this kind of a problem is a dermatologist with a needle full of cortisone so, for now, this will have to do.

Of course, it makes sense to do this overnight but if you're as dedicated to your art as I am, you will go to work like this. The only problem is that people like Soylent are going to ask you what you "did to your face". Granted, he was probably waiting for me to answer "sledding" or something innocent like that. Don't repeat the mistake that I made and tell him the truth. Nay, have a quick, well practiced lie handy. Here are a few suggestions (haven't i just thought of everything?):

1. I just had liposuction. (Good for cheek or chin)
2. I've been recruited as one of Nelly's dancers (esp. good for cheek)
3. Carpetburn (smile naughtily)
4. What? What band aid?.......?...........Are you alright?

Happy New Year

Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear
Originally uploaded by Oblivia.

I have done absolutely nothing noteworthy today. I ate leftover pasta for lunch. I am still wearing the clothes I slept in. I have not left the house save for hauling the recycling bin to the curb. I haven't even showered. The only unmediated human contact I've had was with Roomie, F.

And, in spite of all the evidence that would speak to the contrary, I've had a really good day. Better, brighter than the overcast weather should really allow. Not euphoric or anything, but just the kind of day where the objects in the mirror are not closer than they appear.

The Alpha Male I

Three things prompted this post:
1. Going regularly to the gym, specifically, the weight room.
2. Walking down Boulevard St. Laurent, and overhearing a girl say to her friend, "...the problem is that I'm attracted to arrogant men...."
3. "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." -- Scarface

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Back around 2000 or so, Claire and I took up salsa lessons at this club on a Sunday night. Lessons were on an ad hoc basis - whoever showed up, showed up. They would line us up - boys on one side, girls on the other - and take us through the moves. Gratefully, they forced us to change partners at regular intervals to 'spread the wealth' a.k.a 'spreading the dearth of dancing talent'. Most of the men had a tragic sense of rhythm and co-ordination. When the lessons were over and it turned into a regular club night, both of us were unconsciously interested in "trading up".

As the male is expected to lead, it is important to find a man who can take charge of the situation in order to take flight into salsa symbiosis. We would watch keenly as others danced. Mentally (and out loud, as I remember it) we made "hot/not" lists. We quickly realised that if we were to get any better at salsa, there was some serious 'social climbing' involved. We would go off and dance with various partners and come back together to exchange notes on how we were handled, how his moves were, how he smelled. And yes, I'm still talking about salsa.

One particular night, a group of salsa kings and queens turned up and showed us ALL how it was done. They were causing a righteous spectacle in a group form of salsa called rueda (literally translates into "wheel") where couples dance in a circle and the female is passed from partner to partner. There is one male who directs the dancing and all others fall into place - we called him The Alpha Male.

Claire and I watched in awe of this group and especially The Alpha Male. He wasn't ugly but wasn't really what I would qualify as a looker, either. We agreed that neither of us would proffer a second glance in his general direction on the street. Claire also fairly towered over him. However, that night, he was a God among men. Either of us would have fairly melted into his arms if he asked us to dance*. The other would have stormed out in a jealous huff. Just kidding!

Of course, he was out of our league anyway and we didn't seriously harbour any hope of getting anywhere near him.

* This is, perhaps, the only time we have ever lusted after the same man.

Le Meeeeeeeeuw!

103-0322_IMG
Originally uploaded by mylittleeye.

Everyone knows I like animals better than people. And I like dogs more than most animals. And she also happens to be one of my favorite animals too. And I like otters and seals next best because they're like dogs with fins. Actually, I don't like seals that much. They smell pretty bad.

Speaking of which
.. (congratulate me on the segway later), this never stopped me from admiring Pepe Le Pew and his randy ways and his adorable little quiff. Can you believe they only made three cartoons with his character?

I was watching him sexually harasss that same damn cat on Teletoon, a local french cartoon station. Pepe was dubbed in French and it took me a minute to realise the irony of what was going on before me. Voice-In-Head goes, "Now, wait....a....gosh...darn....minute." If this guy is supposed to be French but speaks English with a French accent, how does he sound when he's actually speaking French? A Spanish accent of course!

Heh heh heh...

TURN IT UP TO 11!

Click on the link for the Korean Friendship Association (KFA) hymn, "Song of National Defence". Feel free to sing along - this version has visuals, a translation as well as the bouncing ball over the words so you can sing along.

CLICK IT. You'll love it, its stunning.

News Flash: American Culture Sinks to NEW NEW Low; World Just Rolls Eyes

Click on the link above and you will hear a radio DJ from Power 99 in Philedelphia make a prank call to a call center in India and proceed to call the poor woman a "bitch" and a "rat eater" and says he will "come out there and choke the eff out of you".

If there is an argument to be made against the trend of outsourcing, then make it. Here man, this one's free, the next one will cost ya: Thanks to outsourcing, those fucking immigrants don't even have to leave their homes to steal our jobs. See? It really IS that easy!

If you want to do it and make it funny go to the seat of the decision making power - policy makers, CEOs or whatever. Holding people accountable for their actions and watching them squirm is funny. Michael Moore taught me that.

Going after people who are in just as, if not more, precarious a position than you says that you, a) have a very feeble grasp of the issue, and b) are a scum sucking low-life with no compassion.

Doing this on your own time makes you a garden variety asshole. Doing this on the air makes you negligent in your professional duties as well as an asshole. People don't get fired for being an asshole though. I hope he loses his job, his credibility and has to take up a job in a call center somewhere to see what its like in this job he so covets. Horrible abuse of the privilege of being on the air.


Via Angry Asian Man Via Turbanhead